He got us quiet and continued to get away with it. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? Our guest speaker for the Luncheon will now be Erin Merryn, childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist, and the force behind Erin . "He told me, just like in the past by this other perpetrator, 'Erin, this is our . I am a survivor. This law requires personal body safety taught to children Pre-K to 12th grade through an age appropriate curriculum. A voice that flies across America and speaks at many of these CAC's that exist taking people back to my experience at the CAC and this time sharing all the details because I no longer carry the shame but instead a voice bringing awareness to these incredible centers that give children a new start on life and a path toward healing. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. The reality is, 93 percent of the time it is not strangers that are hurting kids. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. I wouldn't have quit my job four years ago as a master's level counselor to go after this had I not been lead by the Lord. It is when they hear my story of how I was raped, and how my abusers controlled the situation by being the only ones talking to me about what was happening, that they "get it." Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. In 2008, Erin decided to step up her efforts to protect children nationwide and started writing state legislators to ask them to pass laws requiring schools to better educate children, school employees and parents how to prevent and stop child sexual abuse. Maryland is the latest state, joining the crusade last month. IG: The_Cat_Named_Carrot.Ellen is Carrot's biggest fan. Then, after seven months of back-and-forths, he wrote a heartfelt apology to Erin and asking for her forgiveness, but also understanding if she couldnt forgive him. Well, something shocking happened. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. I can remember that as if it happened yesterday. Visiting Alaska this week, Erin Merryn is a long way from home, and even farther from the torturous past she endured as a sexually abused child. See all See top. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. He was the father of my best friend. They never came, so I stayed silent. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. Call it what it is: penis and vagina.. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). So far 27 states have passed Erins Law since 2010. The school, community organization, day care center, etc. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today. Says Merryn: "[Ashley] made me pinky promise not to say anything. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. The place Erin reclaimed her voice and began her journey to healing. Merryn said she testified four times for the task force. As I often tell people, our innocence was stolen, (our) trust taken, but the one thing we can reclaim as survivors is our voices. Erin Merryn, a sexual abuse survivor, applauds Stewart for making her story public. Alaska Dispatch: Do you think most lawmakers meaningfully comprehend the issue of sexual abuse? Erin said the abuse stopped after her sister spoke up about her own abuse. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). February 7, 2023 by Cindy Erin Merryn is a Global Advocate for Child Sex Abuse Prevention For years, Erin Merryn was too scared to speak up about sexual abuse. See her personal website at ErinMerryn.net. She is at war against this silent evil that is lurking in the shadows and is devoted to opening the eyes of the public to the tens of thousands of children who are being abused right now silently in our own communities and backyards without our knowledge. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. But instead of destroying it, she ended up emailing her five-page account of anger and rage to her cousin, who was now attending college. How and when did you do it first? Under Erins Law, the New Jersey Commissioner of Education must provide school districts with age-appropriate sample learning activities and resources designed to implement this requirement. Learn More. Read more about Erin Merryn on her Erin's Law Facebook page and her website. After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. The book is titled "Stolen Innocence." You've grown into a powerful voice who is bearing witness to the nation. Glamour magazine named Merryn Woman of the Year 2012, and People magazine named her one of fifteen women changing the world and a HEROES Among us in 2013.[9]. The man, then in his late 20s, abused her several more times in the next year, including, she says, raping her during a daytime visit when she thought he wouldn't be home. According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate Erins Law. The law was passed in a number of states,[7] with New York becoming the 37th in 2019. Now, thanks to state Sen. Anthony R. Bucco, children of the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope. The next steps for the bill remain unknown. This went on for a month before police got involved. Then, Erin said she told her family too. The more I shared the more I felt heard like I was lifting this burden off me and by the way the forensic interviewer was talking to me and encouraged me she gave me the message she believed me. Children learn all kinds of safety lessons in schools, like how to deal with natural disasters, fires and strangers. When I look at you, I see nothing but scum. I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. Families pressuring loved ones to stay quiet is not uncommon, but as I often like to tell survivors, by speaking up you are not only helping yourself heal; you will help save other children from experiencing this same horror at the hands of their abuser. In 2013 Governor Quinn signed Erins Law mandating child sexual abuse education in all Illinois public schools. Today there are more then 700 Children Advocacy Centers in America and millions of children have walked through those doors.Before there were CAC's children were interviewed numerous times in places such as police stations. He knows the parts covered by his underwear and bathing suit arent for anyone to touch or see and he knows who safe people are if he ever needs help with something. Merryn says her abuse ended when the family moved to a new neighborhood, Schaumburg, Illinois but she took her secret with her. Use safe and unsafe touch. Alaska Dispatch: When you broke your silence and spoke up, was it frightening? My sister and I both left with stuffed animals and feeling like our secret was now in good hands. Merryn realized he had been molesting her sister too. Erin Merryn is among the many that came across the story. She is dedicated to taking the stigma and shame away from sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as she has. Erin endured the abuse from age 6 to 8 and from 11 to 13 and felt the long-lasting effects of her guilt, shame and loss of innocence. Only this time, the person behind it was her older cousin, a nice young man with a bright future to whom she looked at as the brother she never had.. Erin Merryn is author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. But both she and her sister did tell their stories. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. I wanted to know why, and when I asked if he was abused, he denied it and said he abused me out of curiosity and an urge of sexuality. [2] The family pressed charges, and the cousin eventually confessed to three counts of child sexual abuse. We need to start teaching kids this, she said. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County, Ill. (there are 900 of these centers across America in every state), helped give me the courage in my forensic interview after my sister and I broke our silence to tell what had happened. There was one good thing about my sister coming forward, she said. You will be believed.. Alaska Dispatch: Silence is a powerful way in which sexual abuse is kept secret and is perpetuated. I remember immediately after answering the interviewer I said "That's the reason I didn't tell before, I kept it to myself because I thought no one would believe me." In 2010, Merryn began a crusade to get Erin's Law passed across America. I found hope and healing there and people that believed me. Bad things happen to children all the time. Vermont State Board of Education has required it in schools since 2009. The day I left that place I took a piece of my life back, and that was my voice. Alaska Dispatch: Let's talk about two words we hear a lot when covering sexual abuse stories: victim and survivor. Erin Merryn was an innocent child of six when her best friend asked her to sleepover. The center provided me a safe place to connect with people who understood unlike my friends in school who did not understand what I had gone through. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. Have there been times in your life when haven't done well? She urged kids to come forward if they or someone they know is being sexually abused. It can happen to anyone, which is why we need to empower our children with their voice to speak up and tell and to not keep it a secret if they are abused. Look out for motels that might house sex offenders. As for Merryn, today shes married, the mother of an almost 2 year old, and expecting her second child in eight weeks. There is a misconception about this issue many people think sexual abuse only happens to the poor, to people who come from broken homes, etc. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. I guess what I was trying to ask is, why do you think your abusers chose you instead of some other girl as a target? Her courage breaking her silence allowed me to take a stand for both of us and be brave and tell her we can't keep this a secret, that we have to tell our parents. I came from a good home, two parents, good schools, safe neighborhood, etc. My parents believed me and my cousin Brian confessed to the police, she said. Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. How I wondered am I suppose to tell this stranger my pain when I am too ashamed to even talk in detail with my parents about it. Merryn cautions that you can never just go by how many registered sex offenders are in your area. She published a book called Bailey No Ordinary Cat that showcases Bailey's unusually gentle interactions with her three children. I will fight alongside Erin and the advocates right here in our community until the day that this lifesaving legislation finally becomes law.. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today.. Someone should have known in my earlier years when I was being abused by an adult neighbor. Merryn is an author and activist against sexual abuse who founded "Erin's Law," which requires school to. Erin Merryn is a 21-year-old college sophomore who wrote a book, "Stolen Innocence: Memoir," about her struggles after she claims she was molested by her first cousin. Behind those numbers are the faces of innocent children whose childhoods were shattered by actions of evil and sickness. Alaska Dispatch: You have since spoken up in a big way. It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryns little sister, too. This fundraiser is organized by Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation (Caase). She came to me after I had been abused for two years and told me words I never expected to hear, that she too was being abused by the same family member. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. Do you still stay in contact with him? A therapist urged her to get her anger out on paper by writing her cousin a letter detailing how she felt, and after she wrote it, she was to rip it up, burn it or otherwise throw it away. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. I was a senior in high school when I published my first book, my childhood diary where I kept my secrets of abuse with my cousin locked away. High near 60F. In 2009 Texas passed a similar law but it was only a task force which did not mandate students be taught personal body safety, making Illinois the first state to require personal body safety education by law. I am so confident I will get this law passed in all 50 states, because God has already told me it will happen. I finally got, after seven months, what I had been looking for: an apology. Why is it so difficult to talk about? You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. Forgiving him did not mean what he did was right, she stressed. Was this just bad luck? [3] According to her personal account, she told her parents about the latter after her sister confided that she had also been abused by the same relative. So many children will be protected because of her." Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Partly cloudy. Erin Merryn detailed the treatment and help she received from the Children's Advocacy Center, which has 900 locations across the U.S.A. - a safe environment for children to share their stories of abuse. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Merryn was also the owner of the viral Instagram cat, Bailey, until he died in December 2018. Erin Merryn, 30, a child sexual abuse survivor and creator of the legislation, said schools generally fail to give young students adequate awareness and a voice on the issue of sexual abuse. My abusers threatened me, and I believed them. Erins Law has now going international with judge in Kerala India requiring Erins Law in the 2023-2024 school year. 2019 TIME USA, LLC. He told me, "Your goal is to convince everyone else." Then something happened that no one saw coming: he confessed. What are the most persistent knowledge gaps? COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. Erin wanted nothing more than to make him feel the hurt that she did. It just turned into a screaming match between my mom and his mom, your son did this, your girls are liars, remembered Erin. Erin Merryn, A Voice for the Voiceless. She has appeared on Oprah, Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox, MSNBC, TLC documentary Breaking the Silence, CBS This Morning, Katie Couric, Tamaron Hall, 700 Club, and over 200 local media stations. People would be amazed how many people this really does affect and that they know but have never come forward. tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. ThediaryIkept my secrets locked away in, where I lost my innocence, I turned into a book mysenior year of high school called Stolen Innocence, because thats whathappened to me, Merryn said. For the next hour I relived as much as I was capable of sharing and just kept finding myself focusing on the large mirror having no clue their was a detective on the other side listening to my entire story and am very glad I did not know. Do not use the phrases good touch and bad touch, says Merryn. The abuse went on for years. She also pointed out the real loss of innocence for a child is when they are sexually abused and nothing is done about it. (2012) Fox News Self - Author of 'An Unimaginable Act'. The brilliant minds behind putting in place a center that had a home away from home feeling to give children a sense of security and comfort.At thirteen was the age I walked through the CAC. Alaska Dispatch: So often we hear about "helpers" who encouraged a victim to come forward, or reported for him or her. Young children tend to hear a lot of messages about avoiding interactions with people they don't know, when in reality they are far more likely to face harm from a relative or family friend. After describing the difference between the truth and a lie I was asked if I agreed to tell the truth that day. Gov. In her diary Erin Merryn reveals how her life was transformed one night when, as an eleven-year-old, she was sexually abused in her grandparents condo by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. After her parents decided to move Erin's abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived . CAC The place Erin Merryn broke her silence The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois In 1998 seventy five thousand six hundred and forty seven abused children were seen in one hundred and thirty nine Children's Advocacy Centers in America. "It's something that is going to be with me the rest of my life," Erin said. I continued to write him because I wanted answers. Illinois is the fifth state to pass Erin's Law since she took up the cause. What if their family is pressuring them to just keep quiet and get on with their life? [3], "I was not educated on not keeping secrets if someone was hurting me. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erins Law. Acting out both at home and in school, she was given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and was told she was just going through a phase; that her parents brief separation was the probable root cause. He did respond admitting what he did and saying he is using his past to not make the same mistakes now in his life. A week later, she got a reply. At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13, lying next to her with his hands down her underwear. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. [7] She published her diary detailing her cousin's abuse and her own recovery, relapse and reconciliation in book form as Stolen Innocence in 2005. I can spend the rest of my life hating him, or I can forgive him and do something positive about this thing that continues to be a negative thing in my life, she said. Teaching kids the differences between safe and unsafe touch, safe and unsafe secrets, how to report this to a safe adult and to keep reporting it if your abuse does not end, said Merryn. Again, she was told to keep quiet, that no one would believe her if she said anything and that she had no proof. You didn't just tell one person. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. 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