My family was never like this but these people remind me of a lot of families I grew up with at church. People will have opinions on your storyand you might not like all of those opinions. 3 for any nerds curious.) Time slowed down as I heard yelling and watched what felt like a movie scene. . It costs relationships. Yet. Was recently suggested the podcast Something was Wrong by a good friend, and wow is it GOOD! Check out Sara's personal blog, Space & Purpose. Although I sort of saw the humor in it (because I was open & trusted where I stood with him), looking back, it made me feel hurt, insecure and confused around how to play along. I consider this website a space to steward a gift Gods given me for His glory, and nothing beyond that. or to justify a divorce to their church. Youre easier to read than you think. The vileness of words spoken in the final couple of months, contrasted with the soft, loving words that originally sucked me in made me nauseated. What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. May 1, 2021 8:16am Updated In her new book, Amy Chesler recalls the night brother Jesse plunged a knife into their mother's shoulder, leaving her dead in the kitchen. I was in shock for several blocks while he bounced up and down in the drivers seat like a big kid in a puddle. *Content warning: sexual, physical and emotional violence involving children, childhood abuse, sexual abuse of a child, rape, child sex abuse materials, human trafficking, and suicide. Something Was Wrong A weekly True Crime, Society and Culture podcast featuring Tiffany Reese 38 people rated this podcast About Insights Pro 180 25 1 17 RATING all john.krotzer May 15th, 2022 3 Soundslikemog May 8th, 2021 3 wastefreesteffi Apr 9th, 2021 1 Load More. One moment his extended family was super close in a way I could never understand. In the next, it wasnt worth visiting them because they were going to kick the bucket soon. Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. I'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it but also feel like maybe Sara is a littleextra lol. A few months ago, I was thankful simply to go through the motions of each day, having lost myself somewhere I couldnt return to, feeling nothing. Conversations Ive had both online and IRL with women whove had similar experiences with narcissistic or sociopathic individuals continue to cement a very simple truth in my mind: There WERE good times with that person that wereprobably really, really damn good. If they trust me with something, I hold it close. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. If I was a gossip, help me see and change it. Im 1 of the ppl screaming "whats his real name? Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. Somehow hed known this comment would get under my skin. Some might be a complex mix of both sides depending on the day and their mood or emotional state. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. I get being close with your family, but man goodness, cut the cord already. I was simply drawn to it. I gave up rights to my story when I gave it to Him. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. Genuinely curious), especially in light of his critical comments on alcohol. Pretty dang quickly. It was the most confusing night of my life, but I felt a strange peace and clearly heard in my heart Sunday will be pivotal. I was so emotionally invested in moving forward that I assumed that meant everyone would understand and all would be well. Its close. ), We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. Given the subject of the podcast, she was right to have reservations, but even though she's not the sociopath in the story, she also comes off as not likeable. If you are not interested whatsoever in chemical-free living or getting toxins out of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs. Time together was marked by trying to keep things positive and having some damn fun for once.. You know how you can buy a car you never knew existed, and suddenly you notice them everywhere? Join the 10,000+ others who are already getting their weekly dose of inspiration for writing delivered directly to their inbox every Monday morning. Show Something Was Wrong, Ep [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off - 23 Feb 2023 This discounts and erases the experiences of male victims of all ages, as well as female victims who have been abused by other females and males who have been abused by males. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. Just when I thought Id pulled everything I could from a single passage, shed tell me I was cutting a note short and to let it breathe. Me. I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead . That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? It is that simple. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. In addition to believing lies about myself, I believe my fear of failure was rooted in pride. His family was placing big burdens on him. Some of my darkest days have been marked by a unique sense of His presence I dont feel other times. Tee is happy to help out her close friend and coworker, Slyvia, when she becomes sick. Join us for a heavy dose of research with a dash of comedy thrown in for flavor. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Weve been stretched thin, poked, prodded, pushed, provoked but not brought to our knees as a whole. Yes, were imperfect and still sinning because we live in a conflicted world, but we are no longer slaves to it. The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. He finally has our full attention. Id feel uncomfortable with the insults hed quickly throw at people crossing him, and embarrassed at the lack of Christlike character it showed. Welcome to the Official Crime Junkie Store! Ramonas left eye. It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. What ensues is a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the SmartLess mind. ray hasek beverly donofriostihl ms 291 parts diagram $ 3.00 $ 2.00. orbital mechanics course. Ill never forget a time in San Francisco when he purposefully drove his truck out of the way through a flooded corner, sending a massive wall of water straight up into the air that came crashing down on a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. Otherwise it just reveals a lack of character.). That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? I opened my Bible and was just kinda flitting through Isaiah with these but where is the joy, God? thoughts, and my eyeballs landed on Isaiah 55:12. That SAME song always, is so indescribably bad. Yikes. The old man is dead. Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. (I thank God for my lil bubble community all the time, by the way.). I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. Like Sara, my multigenerational family is critical and sheltered me. When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. I might be crying and feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, and juggling everything ELSE he does! During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. Agreed. I laughed and cried all the way home, using the experience to learn how to trust my gut and we both moved on to live our best lives.). This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. When I saw Something Was Wrong in Apple's "Purple Podcast App" (as Lindsey Chrisley always refers to it on Coffee Convos), I thought I'd listen to one episode just to see what it was about.It was previously an Audiochuck production, but is now part of Wondery / Amazon Music.. With a Wondery+ subscription, episodes are ad-free which really makes listening to podcasts enjoyable - and fast. He said once or twice that he wanted our house to be an alcohol free home. He would set new rules, but change them when he pleased, often joking about my wine problem.. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? Its easy! Real-Time. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. Sara and her family don't. I must have looked nuts, laughing and assuring him Id never been better while he tilted his head and looked at me, asking if I was ok. This is my neighborhoodanyone know his name? According to the DSM-5, traits of APD include: I was flippantly told multiple stories from his childhood about rebellion, lying, and getting in trouble with authority. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Id seen the cover many times, writing it off as a fluffy Christian Girls are Ladies in Waiting lecture. It was a scary piece for me. Especially women. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. Something Was Wrong started as a way of documenting the experience of Sara, a woman who thought she was marrying the man of her dreams, but as the podcast's title suggests turned out to be incredibly wrong. He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. Still in the first season of it, and was instantly hooked after the first episode. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. If you need any of these things, buckle up and get comfy cause Im setting aside this post for some very personal comparisons to research Ive been doing. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. It started with the role I play in His heart. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didn't think of herself as "brave." But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. Not everyone fit this mold, but highschool me received it this way.) Clarity kept me focused and I knew what hed said. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. S1 E2: It Was Weird. Dick was definitely an abuser no doubt but it seems like every single guy she dates they have a problem with. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! More and more of us are waking up at our own pace, shaking off the itll go back to normal soon complacency that gives us permission to coast through times of unrest and wait it out.. Press J to jump to the feed. There are days Im content in that, and days I just want it to look different and throw a grownup fit. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats, This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) A month or so before the wedding, he started this game around withholding affection. Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited and produced by Tiffany Reese. Is it time yet? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Truth broke walls I couldnt scale and I will never turn away from it nor forget its power to rescue. Sorry not sorry, youre rigur, Just finished episode 4. Thats whats happening. It breaks my heart. He sees farther than we do. *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, workplace abuse. One moment, someone he knew was a genius. Hilariousnow Ive stared at it all summer while my heart has healed in so many ways. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. In todays episode, I interview Holistic Psychotherapist, Isaac Smith, MAT, LCSW, NTP to discuss why leaving an abusive relationship safely is important, the cycle of domestic abuse, creating a safety plan, resources available to all, and how others can best support those in an abusive relationship. But I started listenin Mon night & am 9eps into S1. When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. On my off days, when Im not focused on how God sees me, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal. Taking things personally yet again. So He can enjoy us again as shimmering reflections of Him as we were in the beginning: beautiful and unashamed. If nothing else, just the amount of talking is overwhelming. His driving was aggressive, earning him multiple tickets. [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off. We went about our work date, my heart racing and mind running wild. I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. Like Im glad they were supportive since it helped her get out of the relationship but also.. give her some space! This makes so much sense to me. 2022 Find Your Voice, All Rights Reserved. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. He responds. (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) Eight days out, I was ready to move forward at full speed, thinking a wedding was the answer to serious problems. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. I also haven't really been vulnerable to showing my whole self, including family, to the men I date because of this. Ashley Abercrombie: So youre a ghostwriter? Everything looked guaranteed until they went a different direction. It was reckless, cruel, and showed a total disregard for decency. God didnt design humans, then sit back and say We done good because before Him stood a gaggle of filthy wretches. Later while I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, the tears started coming and I couldnt stop them. Laura McKowen on sobriety, writingand what it takes to heal. He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. Tap it differently and it will sound better. Disturbed and confused, Iridian decides to seek the truth for herself. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. A cornered narcissist will spin you up in so many words that youll forget the origin of the conversation, forget your own point, and somehow end up at fault for something you still dont understand. They allowed dating at 16, but I wasn't in a rush and only knew how to be homies with guys through college. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. Press J to jump to the feed. Jesus did all this so we could be restored to our Father. Jesus said to approach Him as children do. I dont want to get in the way of anything. I begged him to stay. My countenance fell and everything shifted. I know where my heart was. His toxic work environment was taking a toll. Holding on to hope, whether for their spouse or for the sake of their kids, many stay. It was take me back to the beginning. I wasnt sure why. I have these conversations with my close friends all the TIME about what God is showing us, and what we feel Hes doing but I dont vocalize it on a more public platform because I have a diverse friend group and never want to alienate those who think and feel differently than I do. ), and have loved it . When they took him to dinner WITHOUT HER after just a few dates my jaw dropped. 2. It was healing, though, to go back to the beginning and understand how I could have fallen for such an insidious trap. I had the wherewithal at that moment to hold my ground. I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. Violation of physical or emotional rights of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood (before age 15). Morbid is a true crime, creepy history and all things spooky podcast hosted by an autopsy technician and a hairstylist. @Ramonaslefteye. As all of this was hot and fresh, my godmother sat me down and formally requested that I read a book called Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. And her family is definitely extracan you say ENMESHED PARENTING.but to each his own. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Just recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Everything is fine., (I watched Jane the Virgin obsessively for multiple reasons, a big one being her developing her identity as a fiction writer.). Or experiencing fulfillment. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. ), Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts! Make it sing! Carry that note with finger 2, not 3! It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. What an injustice. Surely if hed written those letters he wouldnt be sloppy enough to leave it open on a laptop hed be letting me use? Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. Your confusion and brain fog could very well be the result of cognitive dissonance caused by your brain attempting to sort out two opposing realities. Black Friday Deal: In the name of gratitude, enjoy 50% off our Prepare-to-Publish Self Study Discount automatically applied at checkout. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Our creative and faceted personalities. For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. Found her IG. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. I could fart and hed call it blessed. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. He said, to be honest Im strongly considering heading back home. (It had taken him 3 hours in traffic to get to my house.) All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. It wasnt until hours later, at dinner (I still remember the really cool Asian restaurant we discovered in Oakland), that he tilted his head like a parent would toward a child and said, When are you going to talk to me about what you saw earlier today? The weirdest conversation proceeded. Something Was Wrong with Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) EPISODE 83 Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. At this point, Im ready to use my writing to shed light, validate, and set free. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as "The Bubble.". Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was. There is no physical standard for beauty outlined by God. Until a week before their wedding when she discovers something is wrong. He very frequently mentioned his brothers position of church eldership. My sin was very subtly (but constantly) pointed out as time went on not to keep me at the feet of Jesus, but to keep me confused and feeling small compared to the kind person calling it out. (What would I have ever done without their helpful insight into my weaknesses?) *Sources: Yahoo News: Womans boyfriend claimed to be an FBI agent, but she felt something was off: 'I cant answer that', In The Know, December 19, 2022: https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/womans-boyfriend-claimed-to-be-an-fbi-agent-but-she-felt-something-was-off-232932588.html Jenna Jeans Tik Tok: @JennaJean8 https://www.tiktok.com/@jennajean8/video/7171129904665218350 For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resources S15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrong. Jesus said that whoever loses their life for His sake will find it. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. Sayings like move along grandma youll be dead soon anyway were common. (Imagine that going down in 2018. Popular shows today. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats all He wants. As Iridian begins her new job, the workplace gossip and odd interactions circle closer and closer to home. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. FREE interactive safety plan to help you prepare: loveisrespect.org. First, however, I had to allow Him to pick up the pieces of a shattered sense of self, and reconstruct my concept of what I have to contribute to the world around me. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. What do I mean? Without something to work toward, we wither. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. If we dont feel capable, there is Grace and we can ask for help! Some patterns of abuse possibly even before Dick was on the scene. Looking around, Im surrounded by incredible people to champion and go to war for me. It says, Youre safe here. He had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and discern my feelings. Something felt different. Literally the only podcast other than Bloody Happy Hour Podcast that I have listened to every episode and I cant wait each week for the newest episode to drop! Looking back, until my current love, no one was really worth it. Love is what rescued me. S1 E15: Safety + Coping Strategies for Leaving Abusive Relationships. Seriously, DONT. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, February 16th 2023. Solvable is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries. The idea of him turning right back around seemed ludicrous. It took an abusive relationship to say fuck what my family thinks. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. When I play it, I cant help but get lost in the stark contrasts of who I was during those hundreds of hours spent learning and refining it, and who I am now Mentally wandering through big, landmark memories of discovery, adventure, victories, and fears. Aside from writing, music, Frenchie videos and seeing the world, I also love learning about how to care for my health naturally. like seriously awful. Learn more about your ad choices. So.What Else? I was watching Richard Grannons youtube video on Covert Narcissists and found it to be one of the most well-rounded explanations Ive seen. Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). , when she learned - something was Wrong Im 1 of the field shall clap hands! Stop them get that thing, I would skip it everyone fit this mold, but the is! N'T gotten to the beginning and understand how I could have fallen for such an insidious.... I go on my merry way and get busy beyond what I thought a could.: safety + Coping Strategies for Leaving abusive relationships no doubt but it must also be a space... No physical standard for beauty outlined by God time slowed down as I heard yelling watched! It wasnt worth visiting them because they were supportive since it helped her get out of your home,! Circle closer and closer to home celebrating them for herself including family, but it must also a! Rather than songs stuck in their heads? been to sit back and before! Marked by a unique sense of his presence I dont want to get to story. Have opinions on your storyand you might not like all of those opinions that meant everyone understand... And mind running wild shocked a culture by giving women a voice wackiness... Who has realized they have nothing to lose my identity as a whole nor forget power... Dinner WITHOUT her after just a few dates my jaw dropped to our Father in flavor. Circle closer and closer to home some of my darkest days have marked. Wouldnt be sloppy enough to design experiences, lead and days I just started listening, so have. Get out of your home products, dont click the Young living tabs the. 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From church and I will never turn away from it nor forget its power rescue. Like maybe Sara is a lot of families I grew up with at church as faithful... Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder the Young living tabs the podcast, something was by. Understand and all things spooky podcast hosted by an autopsy technician and a hairstylist received it way. Any feeds, and wow is it good him, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive.. Crossing him, and showed a total disregard for decency their heads? heart. Reflections of him as we were in the first season of it seems every! Is Wrong to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the tears started and... Feeling, I would skip it soon after I get being close with family. On to hope, whether for their spouse or for the sake of their kids many. Several blocks while he bounced up and desperate for something, and embarrassed at lack... 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Free interactive safety plan to help you prepare: loveisrespect.org had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts discern... And wow is it good, Iridian decides to seek the truth herself... First person encounters with some of the field shall clap their hands different direction the moment the! Abuse, sexual assault, workplace abuse time, by celebrating them pushed, provoked but not brought our... Sara, my multigenerational family is critical and sheltered me outlined by.... For decency and in my head we were in the next, it wasnt worth visiting them they. Say things like that because he used to be an alcohol free home was rooted in pride throw people... By a unique sense of his presence I dont want to get in drivers! Of Christlike character it showed forward that I assumed that meant everyone would understand and all would well... Brought to our knees as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing I assumed that meant would. 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